2015, January 16 – 149 – memories

I miss a world
etched into my soul
that was never mine
but I can’t forget
it will always be part of me
a missing part
that can’t come back
that will soon be gone
with the changing winds

how can I keep it how it was?

it pulls my heart
and hurts my soul
to leave it behind

I don’t know why

so many memories
so many friends
so much love
so much pain

memories I can never share
with anyone
they are mine alone

experiences that no one else
has ever had
nor will again

a time unique
through my old eyes

2015, January 16 – 148 – defeated

waiting to die.
how much longer must I wait?
nothing to do.
I am tired of the simple drudgery of routine
and living.
eating, sleeping
working, eating
I don’t care,
it’s a pointless journey.
Everything is hard
and takes so much effort
I have no more passion
or spirit or desire
or motivation or drive
or faith or goals
nothing is interesting anymore.
my life had been full
many years have passed
30 more isn’t much to ask
it will go quickly
so I won’t start something new
it’s much too late to start now
I’m much too old
There’s not much time
for so much effort
and I’ve wasted so many years,
But I was preparing and making sure I was ready for life!
too bad I didn’t live when I was younger.
oh well, it doesn’t matter,
to me,
to anyone else.
they have their own dwindling time to worry about.
I might pass a thought or two
but I don’t know why anyone would care
I hold no special place in the universe
the world is fine without me
and I have little effect on it.
I’ll just wait until it’s over
then nothing will matter to me
because I’ll finally be gone.

2015, January 15 – 147 – de tu

el sonido
de tus patitas en al pasillo
de tu besito en mi cachete
de tu respiración en la noche
de tus aretes en la almohada
de tus tacones en el suelo
de tu risa grande
de tus molestas comunes
de tus uñas pintado
de tus uñas mordiendo
de tu corazón latido
de tus achús delicaditos
de tus deditas en mis dedos
de tus canciones de cuna
de tus secretos en mis orejas
de tus deseos mágicas
de tus gritas altas
de tus labios suaves y rosadas
de tus pelos cepillando
de tu silencio pensando
de tus celos adorables
de tus palabras feas
de tu corazón rompiendo
de tus lagrimas cayendo
de tu voz dulce
de tu ‘te amo’
de tu amor
de tu.