2015, April 19 – 473 – found

darkness dwells within
a fear I can not fight
anxious grasping dread
that aches to be filled
desperation screams inside my head
frantically clawing at my soul
threatening to consume me
with a flood of hateful thoughts
a bitter mental bile
burns my timid heart
still healing from a mortal wound
and breathing shallow breaths
clouds of pain and doubt
swirl around my mind
as I slowly slip below
and fall into my storm
to drown alone.

But everything is swept away
in a moment,
with a soft kiss
and a warm embrace.

2015, January 19 – 160 – anger 2

Anger to lash out.
Why am I so broken?
I compare my bad to others’ good.
I can’t see who I am.
I can’t see what other people see in me.
All I see are vague flaws
and slow progress,
so much so it makes me depressed.
anxiety and stress that crowd me
and I don’t know how to face,
only to run away,
but I can’t.

trying to fight
can’t accept

leading me down empty paths and hallways
to empty walls with no doors
and rooms that echo,
stretching my sanity
but only from the inside
so I don’t show the cracks

I can’t breathe.

What is wrong with me?
I want to sabotage myself.
It’s so easy with nothing to lose,
maybe I just imagined the progress.

Ah, I give up.